老外辨別中國人的88種獨門絕招

1.You look like you are 18.你看起來好像才18歲(東方人普遍看起來年輕，呵呵)

2.You like to eat chicken feet。你喜歡吃雞腳

3.You suck on fish heads and fish fins。你吃魚時會吸魚頭和魚鰭(他們都是直接切掉的)

4.You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror。你的車子後視鏡上會吊中國擺設(偶沒有，老爸不讓，說一看就是中國人，俗，鬱悶)

5.You sing karaoke。你唱KTV(唐人街才有的玩意兒)

6.Your house is covered with tile。你的房子鋪的是瓷磚(老外都是木板)

7.Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease。你的廚房覆蓋著一層厚厚的油脂(愛炒東西的緣故)

8.Your stove is covered with aluminum foil。你的爐子上面有鋁箔

9.You leave the plastic covers on your remote control。你的遙控器外麵包著塑料(發現真的只有中國人才這樣)

10.You"ve never kissed your mom or dad。你從沒吻過你父母(中國人誰這樣啊)

11.You"ve never hugged your mom or dad。你從沒抱過你父母(幼兒園時算不算？)

12.Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.你的視覺想像力低於20/500(不知啥意思)

13.You wear contacts,to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses"。你戴隱形眼鏡，這樣才能避免戴你的"瓶底眼鏡"(怎麼說得中國人好像都近視？偶就不怎麼戴眼鏡，不過也近視兩三百了，呵呵)

14.You"ve worn glasses since you were in fifth grade。你五年級開始就戴眼鏡了. (中國人都是愛學習的好孩子.。。怎麼又跟眼鏡有關？)

15.Your hair sticks up when you wake up。你睡醒後頭髮會豎起來。

16.You"ll haggle over something that is not negotiable。你會為一些不可質疑的事情辯論. (無理取鬧？??)

17.You love to use coupons。你喜歡用折價券. (勤儉節約~~)

18.You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol。你為了最便宜的汽油費不息開著車子到處找. (恩，我爸就這樣)

19.You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space。你開著車子兜圈為了找到最好的停車位. (看來老外真的不太講究這個。)

20.You take showers at night。你晚上洗澡. (許多美國人都是早上洗，不知道為什麼)

21.You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms。旅店房間裡的非免費食品你都不吃. (那些東西都是over-charged了的，誰那麼笨啊)

22.You don"t mind squeezing 20people into one motel room。你不介意二十個人擠一間汽車旅房. (那也太摳門了吧.。。)

23.Most girls have more body hair than you,if you are male。如果你是男人，那麼你身上的體毛比大多數女人少. (又不是大猩猩，老子要那麼多體毛幹什麼？)

24.You tap the table when someone pours tea for you。別人為你倒茶你就用手敲一下桌子。

(在廣東茶樓尤其如此，不然沒禮貌)

25.You say "Aiya!"and "Wah!"frequently。你經常說"哎(二聲)呀(四聲)"和"哇(四聲)"。

26.You don"t want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable。你不喜歡系安全帶因為安全帶讓你感覺不舒服. (暈~~~~~~~

27.You love Las Vegas,slot machines,and blackjack。你喜歡拉斯維加斯，老虎機和二十一點. (中國人好賭，地球人都知道)

28.You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully,so you can reuse the paper。

你細心地打開你的聖誕節禮物，因為你要留著包裝紙再用. (誰叫偶沒錢啊)

29.You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas,when they are 50%off。你只會在聖誕節後買聖誕卡，因為他們打了五折. (^_^這根本就是在說我，聖誕節卡留著下一年用，省下一筆錢好好吃一頓更划算^_^)

30.You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table。你的廚房桌子上有一條抹布. (老外只有紙巾)

31.You spit bones and other food scraps on the table.That"s why you need the vinyl tablecloth。你把骨頭和其他雜碎吐在桌子上，所以你必須有抹布. (沒吐在紙巾上的後果，老外真是浪費.。。)

32.You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time。你的電冰箱存著一萬年前的食物。

33.You use the dishwasher as a dish rack。你把洗碗機當碗櫥

34.You have never used your dishwasher。你從來沒用過你的洗碗機。

35.You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times。你有一個熱水瓶裡面永遠裝著熱水. (自來水不是人人都喝得慣的~~~)

36.You eat all meals in the kitchen。你在廚房吃飯。

37.You save grocery bags,tin foil,and tin containers。你把用過的塑料袋，錫紙和錫盤留著。

38.You have a piano in your living room。你客廳裡有一架鋼琴. (管他會不會彈，看起來倍兒有面子)

39.You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth)。你會在餐桌上剔牙，但手遮著嘴。

40.You twirl your pen around your fingers。你會轉筆

41.You hate to waste food。你討厭浪費食物. (沒去過大陸餐館吃過飯的老外，唉.。。)

42.You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing。你冰箱裡有三口剩飯和一隻雞翼。

43.You don"t own any real Tupperware -only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs,takeout containers,and jam jars。你家裡沒有任何家用塑料製品，只有一櫥子洗過再拿來用的油瓶，飯盒和醬罈子。

44.You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses。你把果醬瓶當水杯用. (靠，偶沒見過)

45.You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel。你有收集旅館免費洗髮水瓶子的愛好

46.You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15minutes).These snacks are always dried and include dried plums,mango,ginger,and squid。你每次外出十五分鐘都會帶著你的零食：干芒果，李子或烤魷魚。

47.You wash your rice at least 2-3times before cooking it。你會洗2-3次米。

48.Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself。你爸以為自己可以修任何東西。

49.The dashboard of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys。你的車子裡堆了無數玩偶。

50.You don"t use measuring cups。你不用量杯

51.You beat eggs with chopsticks。你用筷子打雞蛋。

52.You have a teacup with a cover on it。你有一個有蓋的茶杯. (茶壺嘛~~~)

53.You always look phone numbers up in the phone book,since calling information

(*69)costs 50cents。你總是在電話簿裡找電話號碼，因為諮詢電話費用為五角。

54.You only make long distance calls after 11pm。你只在11點後打長途. (免費美國國內，中國不知什麼時候才有，有競爭果然還是件好事， bs中國電信)

55.If you are male,you clap at something funny and if you are female,you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth。如果你是位男性，你會對好玩的東西鼓掌，如果你是位女性，你會捂著嘴咯咯的笑(笑不路齒嘛)

56.You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions。你喜歡沒有配過音的中國電影。

57.You love Chinese Martial Arts films。你喜歡中國功夫片。

58.You"ve learnt some form of martial arts。你會一些中國武術。

59.Shaolin actually means something to you。少林對你來說是有含義的

60.You like congee with thousand-year-old eggs。你喜歡很老的蛋配的粥. (What?)應該是皮蛋瘦肉粥吧

61.You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached。你喜歡有頭尾的蝦。

62.You never call your parents just to say hi。你從不為了問聲好而call你父母. (失實嚴重，這個老外認識的中國人都太摳門了，連個國際長途也省， bs之)

63.If you don"t live at home,when your parents call,they ask if you"ve eaten,even if it"s midnight。如果你不在家，你的父母會打電話問你吃了嗎，就算半夜12點也不例外。

64.When you"re sick,your parents tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods due to yeet hay。當你病了的時候，你父母要你不吃油炸食品和烤的東西，因為"熱氣yeet hay"。廣東音

65.You know what yeet hay is。你知道什麼是熱氣

66.You e-mail your Chinese friends at work,even though you only 10feet apart。你上班時給你中國朋友send email,即使你們相距10尺。

67.You use a face cloth。你敷面膜。

68.You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places。你去吃自助餐前會把自己餓個半死。

69.You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics。你認識可以打折賣給你珠寶或電器的人。

70.You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you"re never going to use them again。你留著用過的可樂瓶。

71.You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it。你有自己的切肉刀而且你會磨它

72.Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin。你的牙膏都擠到紙一樣薄。

73.You know what moon cakes are。你知道什麼是月餅。

74.When there is a sale on toilet paper,you buy 100rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out。當廁紙降價時，你買了100多卷並囤在衣櫥或別人的房間裡. (這個厲害，那個被佔領臥室的人真可憐)

75.Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles。不知道什麼意思

76.You iron your own shirts。你自己燙衣服. (意思是父母不會燙，老外勁小瞧咱中國人，看我飛起一腿，啊扎~~~~`)

77.You play a musical包含ument。你會彈奏一種樂器. (當然，咱中國人打小都是天才，哇哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈.....。。)

78.Even if you"re totally full,if someone says they"re going to throw away the leftovers on the table,you"ll finish them。即使你飽了，當別人要把剩下的菜倒掉時你會一嘴把它吃完. (........really?.....。。)

79.You"ve eaten a red bean popsicle。你吃過紅豆冰棍

80.You bring oranges (or other produce)with you as a gift when you visit people"s homes。你拜訪別人時會帶著水果

81.You fight over who pays the dinner bill。你在餐後搶著付帳單。

82.You majored in something practical like engineering,medicine or law。你的主科是實用型的，工程學，機械學或法律。

83.You live with your parents and you are 30years old (and they prefer it that way).Or if you"re married and 30years old,you live in the apartment next door to your parents,or at least in the same neighborhood。你三十歲時還和父母住在一起並且他們也喜歡你這樣。或者你已經三十歲並且結婚了，但你還住在父母隔壁或同個小區。

84.You don"t tip more than 10%at a restaurant,and if you do,you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more。你不會給超過10%的小費，即使有也是給中國服務員. (靠，我都是給15%的，給10%人家恨死你。可能每個州不一樣吧)

85.You have acquired a taste for bitter melon。你愛好吃苦瓜. (我就不愛吃苦瓜，苦瓜湯還可以)

86.You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl,but don"t eat the last piece of food on the table。你吃光碗裡的最後一粒米，但不吃盤裡的最後一口菜。

87.You know why there are 88reasons。你知道為什麼這裡有88條。

88.You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese friends。你發覺這裡說的都是真的，所以你把它send給你認識的所有中國朋友. (呵呵~~~)